The Porcelain Heart  ( Short Story)


Today is the day, my first day of middle school. I rummage through my closet and drawers looking for the perfect thing to wear, something that will give everyone a good impression of who I really am. Finally I decide on a pair of my old jeans that are faded and torn near the bottom. Although, it doesn’t give everyone the greatest idea of who I am, it’s nice to have those old memories so intimately close to me on such an important day. I pair off my jeans with a bright blue t – shirt my mother recently bought me from a no name outlet store.  I walk down the stairs into the kitchen where I find a note taped to the fridge. “ Claire dear, your lunch is in the fridge. Your father and I won’t be home till later tonight. Make yourself a TV dinner and don’t go to sleep to late. Love you! Mom”.

I open the doors and glare down the hall filled with an endless sea of unfamiliar faces. This is the only middle school in the small town of Smith Falls.

The day felt like one big blur. Nothing stood out; it was as vivid as a black and white film. I walked up my porch steps mentally preparing myself for an evening of boredom. I open the door and make my way up to my room. I sit down staring at the slow movement of the 3 dimensional cube hitting each corner of my computer screen, changing colours with every hit. I interrupt the symphony of colours with the slightest touch of my hand.  I open up the Internet Explorer and type in chat rooms. I clicked on the first website I see called Chat Avenue. This requires me to make an avatar and give myself a nickname. I make her resemble the stereotype of a quote unquote sexy librarian. I call her Misty 597. It doesn’t take long for someone to message me. “ Hey Misty” I take a while to contemplate exactly how I was going to go about this conversation maturely. “Hey Ted” I reply trying not to sound desperate.

After a couple of months of talking everyday, Ted and I became the closest thing I’ve ever had to a best friend. He knew exactly what to say when I was sad. He would send me poems that made me feel things I didn’t know I could feel. “ Misty, I really would like to meet you in person. We’ve been talking for quite some time now and the Internet has so many disadvantages. I wanna see you in person. What do you say?” I pondered this for a moment and thought about the chain of lies I had told one being that I was 18. “Let’s do it. Sandson Park on Woodsgrove Avenue.” I typed skeptically. “ Alright Misty 10pm tomorrow.” My brain was running 100km a minute. I shut down my computer thinking of all the things that could go wrong but the euphoria of meeting this incredible stranger made the answer quite obvious.

I woke up remembering everything from last night. My stomach began turning like a whirlpool in the middle of the ocean. I went to my closet and picked out the best thing I could find, my brown cashmere sweater with my black draping scarf. I put my moms black boots with my black leggings underneath.

My watch reads 9:40pm. I leave my house quietly making sure my parents don’t hear. I walk in the darkness of the night, the moon illuminating the sky, the fall leaves crunching under my feet. My heart is pounding out of my chest like a steel drum beating in the silence of the night. I stop at a sign. “Sandsgrove Park” I whisper to myself. I look down the pathway of the park and see a dark shadow of a man sitting on a bench. I make my way up to him closing my eyes. “ Before you say anything, I know I’m not 18 and my name isn’t Misty but you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever talked to. I hope you’re not angry with me.” I open my eyes and see that he isn’t 18 like he said he was. “I have to go.” I said. I began sprinting down the pathway hoping to encounter a stranger or even the headlights of a car, but there are no signs of life. I hear his steps running after me. “HELP” I scream. He wraps his hands around my mouth pulling me back into the darkness of the trees. I struggle trying to loosen his grip but he’s holding me down too tightly, I feel my body start to give out.

“After a 2 week search local girl Claire Windam is declared dead. There are no suspects in study at the moment but police are still searching.”



Desperate Measures: A Profile on Budwahtie Ramgoolam


“Life. If I had to talk about my life, I’d say it was my happiness, and my hell.” Eight-two year old Budwahtie Ramgoolam sits in her stunningly spacious home, sipping her hot cup of tea. She stares intently at the television, which is playing an Indian drama. “Oh, there is so much I can say,” she says. Budwahtie lived a frantic life in the streets of Debe, Trinidad. She lived her life off of many traditional Hindu beliefs. She was born on November 25th,1929.

“People were so nice back then. They were so respectful and polite. They liked me, and I liked them,” she says grinning. Growing up her father, Raj Lala, taught many people in their town how to speak and write in Hindi.

“People respected our family because of him.”

When she was fourteen years old her parents had arranged for her to marry a boy named Seepersaud Ramlochan. “I don’t like thinking about him,” she says as she uncomfortably adjusts herself in her seat. He was a tailor who worked in San Fernando, Trinidad. “He couldn’t understand how to love me. We were so young. He didn’t seem interested in love.” They lived together for eleven years, and in that time had a son named Krishna. Throughout those years, she fended to keep her sanity. Budwahtie exhales deeply and pauses for a couple seconds to gather her thoughts. “He always came home drunk and struck me. I kept quiet and tried not to argue. I didn’t want to give him a reason to hit me.”

“I wanted to finish away with life,” she explained.

One night when Seepersaud came home drunk Budwahtie knew what she was in for. Before he could get inside, “I drank the whole bottle of medicine my doctor gave to me for my throat infection. I drank it because I wanted to die. It was better than living this life of him coming and beating me, then coming and beating me again.” After spending a couple days at the hospital she went home to find her husband with another woman. “She wouldn’t let me inside, she told me to pack up my stuff and leave.”

So she took her things and moved back with her parents. It wasn’t long before things went awry at her parent’s home. When she was twenty five, her father passed away and her mother was sick with cancer. “When my father died, I screamed out who will take care of these children, my two sisters, my brother, and my son,” she said shaking her head.

“I knew what I had to do.”


She opened up her own shop in the city, selling dry goods and clothes. Things began to look up for her when she met and married a man named Rambhrose Ramgoolam. “I only married him because I needed a male figure in my life to protect me from the ideals of society. Men would try to trespass into my home because they knew there were three single girls in the house.”

Her shop was doing more than well and money was flowing in. “I would come home and throw all my money on the bed and then sleep on it.”

“That was a good time” she says smiling to herself.

Time was passing and life was progressing, Budwahtie had 6 more kids Sharda, Anu, Satch, Rajen, Shamie, and Lata and she knew it was time for extreme measures to be taken.When she was fourty three she moved her family to Canada on her own dollar. “I wanted my kids to have a good education and a lot of opportunities.”

She is now eighty two years old and  has her children and grandkids taking care of her. “We all love and respect her” Budwahtie’s daughter Anu says.

“I’m very lucky to have such a good family,” Budwahtie adds.



Nine Inch Nails: Year Zero Review


Step out of the light and into the darkness. Nine Inch nails’
Year Zero will take you on an adventure that strays away from
anything you know as normal. The dark undertones of their
music will take over your mind. The concept of the album is
about a paranoid schizophrenic look at life post-modern day.
Nine Inch Nails took a different route for Year Zero; they went
for the artsy approach by creating a fictional character living in
a fictional dystopian world. This was a lot different from their
previous albums like Broken (1992) and The Fragile (1999)
both of which were very personal.
Year Zero was written while the band
was on tour for With Teeth (2002)
and it shows; their raw unfiltered
words can be heard on each track
of their album. The band went to
extreme measures when promoting.
They would leave USB’s in the bathrooms
at their shows giving the fans
a sneak peak of what is to come next.
They also, sported t-shirts that had
the phrase “I am trying to believe”
across them which ended up being
a website where they explained the
supernatural four legged figure on
their cover art. The figure is a figment
of the cities hallucination due
to a drug called Parepin released by
the government in the water supply.
Another website that promoted the
CD was http://www.anotherversionofthetruth.
com, this site displays a photo of
America. When the photo is clicked
and dragged it displays America in a
post-apocalyptic manner and links to
a message board where fans discuss
Parepin and sightings of the four
legged figure. The band would also
release secret codes on their websites
for fans to decode. This created
a massive amount of attention and
excitement for the public. It is safe
to say that this was the most sought
after album in Nine Inch Nails history.
The amount of creativity put
into the marketing was phenomenal
it really complimented the intake of
each and every song on the album. It
almost felt as though I was living in
this fictional world they created from
the depths of their mind.







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